alive....to Love

I was reminded the other day through a smile at work about unconditional love...love without expectations... without limits.... without insecurities. I have always been a believer in loving what you do no matter what it is....if you love it you will succeed at it. I think lately I have lost sight of that. I love working with children however my new position has been stressful and overwhelming and most days I go to work wishing I could stay home in bed. I love taking pictures and lately Ive been worried about taking to photos to get the bills paid rather than enjoying the moment of creating beautiful memories through my photos like I did when I picked up my camera 14 years ago. My family is important but lately I have kept to my self because I don't always have the right words to say and don't want them to worry about me. And most importantly I love being a Mom...lately I am finding it hard to leave the stresses of the day at the door and just enjoy the time with my son.

It is time to change....people talk about the light bulb moment...the moment when they wake up a realize what they want for their lives and the changes that need to be made. I have had mine...not exactly sure what brought it on could be someone tearing me down with words for the last time. I have spent the last few years trying so hard to please others and keep my heart protected that I just have been cheating myself. I have been so afraid to fail that I have just been failing myself at a life full of love, hope and the enjoyment of taking chances that do come with risks....but also come with pleasure and forgiveness.

I am going to embrace my new job even though it is stressful and I am underpaid...I get to rock babies in my arms and am told I love you Ms. Cyndi everyday. I am going to use my camera to relieve the stresses of the day and become better at what I love doing.... everyone needs a passion in their lives that expresses who they are. I am going to share my life with my family because life is too short not too. I am going to leave work at the door and enjoy my son even though raising a teenager can drive a sane person crazy...I only have 4 years left till he is 18 and I plan to embrace every moment. I am going to believe in love again ...unconditional love...love without limits...love without expectations...without insecurities....

Love with God at the center of it....